u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
Went upstairs to make PopTarts, found the door open. Shut it. Saw a grey thing. Opened the door, found a girl sleeping outside. What the fuck happened last nigh
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
Randomize