You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
It took me longer to finish the bottle of scotch we bought together on New Years than it did for her to meet a new guy and get engaged
new low: I blocked him from seeing my snapchat story in hopes he will text me because he'll be afraid I'm dead or something
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone dad. And you’re also like a second dad to me who I also send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
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