Apparently I farted on her in my sleep. Then, just to be sure she was cool, I did it again on purpose and she didnt say anything. So, WIN?
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
I just told the bartender to “give me something that will murder me”
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
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