I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
the cashier wished me a happy fathers day while i bought condoms
He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
Lucky for you, I found your phone.....Not so lucky for you, it was in the bottom of your vomit-filled trashcan.
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
Randomize
