good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
Hey man, sorry about punching you in the face, also about turning the shower on you. I just really wanted you to drink some water.
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
Randomize
