Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
My drug dealer just texted me that his kid had a rough sleep and was running late to deliver the ounce to my office. Totes adorbs.
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
At one point they were sandwiching me, both petting my stomach, mad dogging each other. Then they somehow telepathically decided to both try to pull my pants down. Such nice guys.
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
Some old bald man is a 100,000 dollar Audi sports car just revved his engine at me and held out his phone at me trying to get my number. I hate the valley.
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
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