just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
Opening beer with my teeth is getting easier the drunker I become.
It turns out my teeth are bleeding.
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
Randomize
