while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
Just snuck alcohol into the hospital for my mom.
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
You've never even broken a bone. You singlehandedly disprove natural selection
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
I’ve been home 1 day and already had sex with my ex and got a blowie from her cousin and currently I’m getting molested by a cougar at the bar!!!! Plenty to give thanks for this year!!!!
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
Randomize