In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
Just brushed my teeth...forgot we used this toothbrush in bed last night.
For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
phil was outside the bar last night, sitting on the ground playing songs on a guitar hero guitar to people walking by for money...best version of free bird ever
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
My dad just came home, said hi to mom and me in the kitchen, and then said "I'm gonna go inject my blood with iguana saliva".
my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
and then you called me a third time and yelled that you were stealing a puppy named Willow
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
I think I may have gotten way too used to using my boobs as an extra hand/pocket...almost stabbed myself in the chin bc I forgot I put my fork there
Randomize
