You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
the last three girls i tried to get with all believed in abstinence... i think gods trying to keep me from being a father
i think girls just don't want to fuck you
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
Randomize
