Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
There were no words. I got in his car, took my pants off, threw my shirt out the window, and got things started. After we were done I collected my clothes, gave him a kiss, and crept back into my house.
You're like the sex ninja. How doesn't he love you?!
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
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