I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
Dude, we're at Einstein's Bagels and the dude next to us is spreading cannabutter on his bagel.
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
Your topless pictures make me question reality
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
Congratulations! We have a period
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
Randomize
