i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
That tingly feeling you're experiencing in your lady parts is my mustache. All the ladies of America are waking up feeling the same thing. You're welcome.
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
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