She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
My Mini-Van Handjob Milf is leaving the company. I need to find a new job. I can’t handle this place without those handjobs
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
