I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
GOOD IDEA: Stealing the bike a couple blocks away so I don't have to walk. BAD IDEA: riding bike for the first time in years drunk as hell. I'm bleeding and my body hurts and once again I can't find my car.
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
She swung at the pinata with crutches
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
Watching the awkward tinder date at the table next to mine is the most action I've had in months, so there's that.
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
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