he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
THERE IS A MOTHERFUCKING HUMMINGBIRD FLYING AROUND IN OUR HOUSE RIGHT NOW HOW DO I GET IT OUT????
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
Randomize
