hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
Non-Jews are for practice
That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
I have eleven tally marks and an infinity sign drawn on my wrist in permanent marker. Senior bar crawl stole my liver.
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
I woke up to her staring at me in a corner moaning over and over again about how good the pie crust tasted
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
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