Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
I looked at him all bewildered and he said, "what? I figured if it was under 30 seconds it'd be free."
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
the realtor just asked me if i've ever made meth on this property.... i need to do something about my hair
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
How would I get in touch with Carly Rae Jepsen if I wanted to thank her for the loss of my virginity?
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
I told him he was, quote: "A big cuddly bear" and he needed to get into my bed or I would set his Golden Retriever free.
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
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