I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
I don't have nearly enough visine for the dryness from sticking my head out the window on the freeway for 20 minutes. Child lock me next time.
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
Out of desperation, I used the leftover sauce from my goat masala as a mixer for vodka shots.
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
I asked this couple what they would like to drink and they leaned toward me eagerly and asked if we still have THE root beer ... Idk if this is code for please add cocaine to my drink
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
Chick in the reindeer getup puked on Baby Jesus last night. But then she bought us all empanadas so she's cool.
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
Randomize
