My poor mother should have just stuffed me back up her vagina when she had the chance.
I'm playing wingman, but I want to pull a Goose and die.
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
Stop introducing me to people as your little sister.
I don't think the lady gaga poster on your wall qualifies you as a brother.
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
He accidentally opened the car door during sex and all the lights came on. Needless to say, that kid passing by who was walking his dog got scarred for life.
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
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