I can't believe the cop was so cool about the whole thing, I mean, I had man mayo all over my jeans.
we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
I'm tangled in a fishing net down at the harbor. This has nothing to do with Captain Morgan. Bring wirecutters.
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
Randomize
