Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
Dear Mark, please dispose of your crusty mcdonalds napkins used to jerk it at my desk
discrete masterbation is a lost art
Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
Randomize
