My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
I caught myself flirting with clients today. Someone needs to take me to pound town before I self destruct. This is a code red. I repeat code red.
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
Randomize
