Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
Well, I'm off to go seduce a gay man. In 10 years when I'm 300 pounds, sitting in a mumu surrounded by my 500 cats, remind me of this text. That way I can be like "ohhh THERE'S where I went wrong!!"
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
Nothing says “I spent too much in Vegas” quite like eating a jar of pickles for dinner and planning on cream of celery soup for breakfast tomorrow.
Randomize
