Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
I think for all the guys in my phone, I'm going to change their pictures to pics of their dicks. It's easier to identify them that way.
Siri just reminded me to pickup Plan B
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
Randomize
