So I went into my gym pretty wasted and asked the trainer guy if i could order a cock meat sandwich. Needless to say, I'm canceling my membership tomorrow.
sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
I'm pretty sure that the bartender arranged a marriage for me last night. Sounds like a legit birthday present to me.
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
Randomize