I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
He just asked me to come into his empty apartment after he called his parents to make sure they wouldn't come home while I was there. This is starting to look like a bad rape scene from one of those made-for-TV Lifetime movies.
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
Randomize
