just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
M and I are hungry and we are making your pizza in the fridge. But you're having sex and we're not so we dont feel bad.
next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
Last night I was just holding this kitten up to my face for like ten minutes telling it that it couldn't be real
Hooked up with an ex Playgirl model. I feel like the universe just high-fived me for staying sober.
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
I bought him flowers and fake vampire fangs, cuz there's really not a greeting card that says "Sorry I got wasted last night and started a very sloppy bloodletting ritual.".
Randomize
