I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
I just saw a dog and thought "Hey! A goat!" Then realized it was a dog. Now I'm sad.
You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
Most tragic bathtub-fart of all time. I am going to be late.
She took all the bottles out of the shower caddy and replaced them with booze. I just made a shower Manhatten. Imma marry this one.
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
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