Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
Took out half a tooth with a handle of jim beam last night. Apparently I can't walk and chug bourbon at the same time
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
Randomize