He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
if i died would you start the facebook group?
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
He called me for phone sex. Do you know how hard it is to fake an orgasm, and play Candy Crush at the same time?
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
Rolled over in bed this morning and found Nutella and wet naps. Why can't it ever be a fire fighter, or Jude Law.
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
Randomize
