his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
I literally just wielded a katana to save a child's life. What did you do today?
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
i ran into my coworkers when i was walking home last night. i was shirtless. i think i gave my shirt to Walter. he's a cat.
im still drunk. birthday week begins.
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
You think you're smart. You're pretending to be asleep to save yourself from my hormonal pms mood swings. Unfortunately that only works against bears.
Come back. Shots need mouths.
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
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