i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
I discovered last night there is no graceful way to remove your face from your gf's crotch when your parents walk in the room
Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
I'm almost too hungover to function. Got into the wrong car by mistake. there was a rotweiler in it. Thank god he was more confused than i was for a minute.
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
Had weird bad dreams about you last night. Please tell me you didn't google my real surname and that you don't go to a needle exchange.
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
Randomize
