Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
woke up, covered in gummy bears, with a note that said "the gummy army won"
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