the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
Do vagina's smell?
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
My math professor just asked us to draw the graph of the derivative of our drunkenness from friday to sunday. Dear Jesus this looks bad.
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
I think my new low is running outside in a towel to pet a particularly fluffy looking squirrel and projectile vomiting off the balcony.
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
Hey remember that night when you sang Fergie to me? I think that's the exact moment in time when the thought "I could be faithful to this man" came into serious consideration.
Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
Anyone would get lost in that field after that much vodka. Trust me... I kind of feel like superman considering I even made it home. Most people would've been face down in a random oilfield. Not this guy.
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
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