would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
You blacked out and walked in on my neighbor breast feeding at 3am yelling "where is my best friend". I think we should go apologize.
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
Randomize
