i'm chasing tequila w mint flavored ice cream, phil's chasing it w cream cheese, bashar's chasing it w pickles...i think we all know who the winner is....
You know the guy who poops at a party and then leaves and you go in, do your business, and come out and there are girls outside that think you pooped and no one talks to you? I'm the guy who poops before you go in, because I'm in a relationship and I hate you.
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
This is classic penis vs brain.
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
I yelled out "blow jobs!" in my macroeconomics class. Ask me more about how my life is spiraling out of control.
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
Randomize
