some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
You showed up at my apartment after 3 am wasted with a plate of cookies and tried to hook up.
Sorry about that. Except for the cookies.
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
some girl just asked me if I was that guy that hooked up with nine girls in one night. officially a local celebrity. gonna try and autograph her boobs.
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
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