I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
He really likes Obama...and Bill Clinton too. He said "I mean, how many presidents can say that they got head in the oval office?"
Soulmates.
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
He looked me deeply in the eyes and said "I don't want this to be the last time I see you.. Can I follow you on Instagram"
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
My life is pants optional.
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