brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
I woke up wearing nothing but 7 partially eaten candy necklaces. Only one was around my neck. Don't even try to tell me I don't need plan B.
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
He could stay over, if you'd just ask.
Yeah. What am I supposed to say? "Oh, my couch is occupied, but my vagina's not"
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
DONT YOU DARE YELL AT ME. YOU'RE THE ONE WHO TRIED TO PAY FOR THE CAB WITH YOUR PANERA REWARDS CARD.
I'm worried about us. We are almost 30 and we still drink jaeger bombs till we black out. Wait, no I'm not. I'm excited about us.
Randomize
