you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
Level of drunkenness: just now when I sat down on the toilet, I had to double check to make sure I wasn't sitting on somebody's lap.
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
Hey, thanks for not calling the cops when I answered the door naked, high as fuck, and covered in red velvet cake batter.
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
Randomize
