I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
I feel like vodka or no vodka, you'd still be trying to button your cat into your comforter
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
After I was arrested and in the back of the squad, she lit a cig. I politely stuck my head through the glass opening and asked for a drag. She instantly slammed my head back, blew smoke at me and shut the glass. My view on state trooper chicks is forever tainted.
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
Randomize
