No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
So my parents just watched me pour their rum into a bottle and only add crystal light powder, no water... Talk about being judged. All I could say was "Cortland tricks?"
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.
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