Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
Two people confessed their love to me last night. Drunk is a good color on me
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
She grabbed a $20 bill out of my hand, calling it a lap dance coupon and then she dragged me into her bedroom. I think I’m in love
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