worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
NEWSFLASH - my freind is drunk and admitted that he hates having sex with dogs. should i help him or let him be??
He also left me a wonderful voice mail..... and is now asking me where the planters peanut guy is.
You should probably go find him.
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
I woke up in my neighbors backyard with glitter on my teeth and sparklers super glued on my bra. which part was your fault?
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
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