If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
there is nothing like a happy birthday present when you wake up with a bow on your vagina.
I want to celebrate with you...
There's nothing I'd like more than a celebratory "The guy I'm doing just found out he's not a baby daddy" dinner.
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
After the clumsiest day of my life I think it's safe to say my dream of being a ninja is dead. Memorial service with a glass of wine at 8pm
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
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