lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
You think the Elephant Man ever tried to pick up chicks claiming all his appendages were elephant-sized?
that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
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