I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.
you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
Last night I tried to apply for a job at ihop. That drunk.
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
Randomize
