Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
The lady at the touchless car wash just gave me the look of death. How do I say, "sorry it's not my puke" in Spanish?
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
I only have one kid whom I wish to hit in the face with an active jackhammer. How's work?
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
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