There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
He just got dropped off drinking a flask, sitting on the handlebars of a chinese delivery man's bike
Tonight's gonna be epic. Did he bring my noodles?
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
How do you clean human pee out of a carpet
Inconspicuously
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
Randomize
