the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
Of course it was necessary for me to call the strip club and ask what their shower policy is. Smelled like she was wiping her ass with my eyebrows during that dollar dance.
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
I put in a tampon while driving a moving vehicle. I feel like this is simultaneously a new low and the sort of feat that deserves a merit badge.
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
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