I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
So I thought I was slick leaving his room this morning all incognito. Little did I know I was wearing his football jersey with his name across the back... stilettos & my bra was left behind. never seeing that again
have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
Every time you blow me I should make a paper crane and we'll make them into a chain and hang them from the ceiling. And then whenever we have people over and they ask what the cranes are for I'll say "reminders" and wink at you.
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
My mom just asked if I wanted a mimosa when I got out of the bath.
I think everything's gonna be okay.
You're a disaster
Wanna date?
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
Tell me you're alive little brother. And please tell me you didn't get arrested. You made no fucking sense last night in your random texts and pictures you were sending me.
Randomize
