im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
Guess who got arrested for public drunkiness, and called jimmy johns for the entire station last night instead of someone to bail me out? The cop that arrested me drove me home. Win.
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
My roommate just google searched "cumming blood" using my laptop. Her boyfriend is in her room, she looks scared. Words cannot explain how hilarious this is.
Randomize
