highlight from tonight: i hit on her and her mother.
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
well, you know. whores of a feather.
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
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