try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
that's an acceptable place to lick
Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
I just found out that my father was a Human condom for halloween when I was 4. And to think I used to wonder where my sense of humor came from.
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
You kept mumbling that you could become one with the carpet as you proceeded to give yourself the worst carpet burn I have ever seen
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
Randomize