hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
Dude. My tinder just blew up in Seattle. I'm moving here. I don't give a fuck
I had tater tots and weed with a stripper at 4am who compared the size of my boob to her head because fuck you my life rocks
I nicked my vulva while shaving and I'm about to go on a date where I will be having sex. Which bandaid: My Little Pony or princesses?
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
Randomize
