Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
I'm more picky about my flip flops than the guys I sleep with
i'm surprised you didn't wake up. like i literally came when he was fingering me as i was spooning with you and all you did was mumble "that's a good idea, mom" and pull the sheets away from me.
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
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