triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
His new girl is probably classy and boring. I bet she doesn't feed him sour patch kids while she wiggles his weiner.
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
You're talking to someone who was 80% serious about breaking into someone's house and leaving a cat there with our names in a heart tag on its collar
During my first week as an adjunct prof, I played a fiercely fought game of squash with a law student and we wound up having hot, sweaty, angry sex right on the floor of the court. She is either the best or worst thing to happen to my academic career. Will let you know.
Dude, you ever snap awake on the toilet at work with that panicked, "How long have I been here?!" feeling??
Like people our age are getting engaged, and I’m out here spooning with a giant unicorn I bought at Walmart on Black Friday.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
Randomize
