ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
Look, I said I'm sorry. In the shower, "are you happy to see me" sounded just like "could you please pee on me". Honest mistake.
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
The moral of the story is do not hire me because everything will end up smelling like pickles and I will not sufficiently clean it up.
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
We have so much sex to catch up on
This is the Santa Claus of hangovers. It just keeps giving.
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
Oh. My. God. It is NOT okay to drink Johnny Walker when there is no Jameson. My skull is eating my brain.
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
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