Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
But you wanna know what the sadest part is? I had to smoke on the way back home cause my mom would be suspicious if I wasn't high after I was supposedly hanging out with you.
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
I'm drunkenly throwing popcorn at a spider, fuck him. Why does his scary 8 legs get to be happy?
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
Well, I ruined his toilet and he's still completely okay with me. Plus, it took him like a week to tell me.
If a girl I didn't love ruined my toilet I don't think I'd stick around.
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
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