I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
I only make drug deals in a British accent. It's my way of making sure it doesn't get too sketch.
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
All his texts have the signature of a date with a smile. I asked him what it means. IT'S THE DAY HE QUIT DOING DRUGS
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
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