I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
I'm reading 50 shades of grey and masturbating while he's doing insulation downstairs. Maybe I can get him to bring me a sandwich
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
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