I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
When we found you, you were using the bottle of Captain as a pillow...with a note on your forehead that said don't wake up the champion.
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
It's amazing how hard it it while drunk to not comment "fuck you" on dumb peoples' statuses
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
Randomize