But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
ATMs should seriously have built in breathalysers, I would save so much money.
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
Not to make this awkward, but if we ever have sex (perhaps drunkenly), all i'm gonna be able to think about is how sexy our kids would be.
I’m getting reeeeaaalll tired of telling cute boys I gave them chlamydia.
That’s two in three months. You really know how to live.
Randomize
