My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
I'm so high I used the top vent on my dashboard to heat up a cheeseburger
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
Please tell me I didn't help an old woman shave her vagina last night. Please.
That's the least of the fucked up shit you did last night dude.
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
I haven't lost it. I know I'm not a prophet. It was a joke.
After the edible you claimed you were talking to my cat. We're in our 30s now, what was once cute is now a liability.
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
Randomize
