Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
I got eye-fucked by an 80 year old man wearing a cowboy hat while I was singing country. How do you think karaoke went?
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
Randomize
